TRAGIC LOVE MONTH #7: The Approximate Size of My Favorite Tumor, by Sherman Alexie (1993)

Type of Media: Short Story

Relationships are partnerships. The ideal of an "other half", another person without whom you are incomplete, is bunk. Couples help each other, of course, but your partner can't live for you, or breathe for you, or feel pain for you. If you can't at least somewhat stand on your own two feet, you'll wind up like the main character in Sherman Alexie's short story, The Approximate Size of My Favorite Tumor.

The story focuses on a Native American couple, Jimmy and Norma, who live in government housing on a reservation in Washington. Jimmy is a chronic comedian, unable to stop himself from cracking jokes. When he's diagnosed with terminal cancer, Jimmy's inability to stop himself from making fun of the situation causes Norma to leave him. As he gets ready for the end and reminisces about his life with Norma a few months later, Norma comes back to him, saying she intends to stay with him and help him die.

The Approximate Size of My Favorite Tumor doesn't have a traditionally tragic ending. Norma eventually comes back to Jimmy, and he's still alive to see her return. However, she doesn't come back as his wife. When Norma says she was staying with a cousin the past few months, Jimmy jokes if it was really her cousin or a guy she was sleeping with that she didn't want to tell Jimmy about. Norma confirms it's the latter, which Jimmy describes as hurting like nothing else he's experienced. The rest of the story has Jimmy and Norma trading banal light dialogue, but it hides a stark sadness. Norma is laughing and joking with Jimmy to help them cope with an unalterable reality, acting as a benevolent nurse rather than a wife. She is there to help Jimmy die, and then she'll cry, and then she'll leave and move on.

Jimmy's constant humor comes from a place of trying to maintain control of his life. When he and Norma are shaken down by a crooked cop, they use jokes to help them both take power back from the officer and deal with being targeted just because they're Native Americans. The thing is, Norma also knows how to deal with her sadness and process emotion. Jimmy can only throw up a wall of jokes as a defense mechanism, and the fact that Norma can't go through a grieving process with him is ultimately what drives them apart. Norma's return is motivated by pity and a desire to help Jimmy get through his last days on his terms, because it's already too late for him to change.

Sherman Alexie is a Native American author and humorist, who usually uses comedy to make social commentary rather than develop a dysfunctional relationship. The Approximate Size of My Favorite Tumor is from his short story collection The Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven. I recommend you pick it up, even if you were forced to read it in middle school like me and didn't understand it.